I want to share with you a little about emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is typically difficult to identify because there are no outward marks or bruises.

These invisible wounds leave marks of self-doubt, and feelings of worthlessness.

Consequences of emotional abuse are just as severe as physical abuse. Research shows our bodies respond the same to emotional abuse as it does to physical.

Here are some ways to identify if you’re dealing with an emotionally abusive person:

They have unrealistic expectations and make unrealistic demands, you can never please them

They invalidate you by undermining, they dismiss or distort your perceptions of reality, tell you how you should feel, accuse you of being too sensitive or crazy, and accuse you of being needy.

They create chaos by starting arguments just to argue, maybe you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.

They use emotional blackmail with manipulative guilt trips, humiliate you in public and private, use your fears and values or other hot buttons to control you or the situation, exaggerate your flaws, deny an event took place even lying about it, punish by withholding affection.

They act superior and entitled and treat you like you’re less, blame you for their mistakes, even make jokes at your expense.

Finally, they attempt to isolate and control you by controlling who you spend time with sometimes claiming jealousy is an act of love, monitor phone calls and text messages, accuse you of cheating, take or hide car keys, maybe even control finances.

If you can relate to several of the listed things, even if it’s just a handful, you’re in an abusive relationship. But there’s hope and help…

Here are seven ways to deal with emotional abuse:

Make your mental and physical health a priority – seek counseling from a professional. Eat healthy meals, exercise, and try to get plenty of rest. Those seem small but it adds up in time.
Realize you cannot change or fix the abusive person – that’s only up to them.
Do not engage with an abuser – don’t try to soothe, explain, or make apologies. They’ll never be good enough. Engaging sets you up for more abuse and hurt. Walk away from the situation if you can.
Build a support system – Don’t be silent about the abuse. Along with counseling, spend as much time as you can with people who support and build you up. They will speak truth into your life and help you put things into perspective. Seek community in church or organizations that have the same interests as you.
Depending on your situation, work on an exit plan. You may need to take steps to end the relationship. Talk about your thoughts and ideas with those in your support system.

Know that you do have a choice and a say in your life. You can choose to be and do differently for yourself. You can choose to be healthy and to become the best version of yourself. You have authority over yourself and it’s an amazing thing…

We would love to help you and have qualified counselors at The Fountains Counseling Center so please contact us for an appointment.