I have a problem, well, I know that you have a problem too. If you are an average individual, you are like other individuals these days and you have the same issues. According to this article we don’t know how to relax very well.

I don’t need to read an article written by other people to let me know that. A couple of months ago I planned a particular week perfectly and it would end on a Saturday doing what I like to do most Saturday’s, wake up before everyone else and go run my long runs around my town. That is of course unless Liverpool isn’t playing the early time slot which I don’t want to miss.

Like many other times before, I had something come up Friday evening before and I wasn’t able to rise and shine as early as I wanted to take advantage of my refreshing morning run. I slept in, I know, I know, TERRIBLE! I woke later only to be grumpy and irritable with my kids, wife, and myself. All day long I was so agitated that I didn’t do what I like to do to refresh myself. I then was caught in a terrible inner dialogue about why I can’t relax, refresh, or participate in what is important to me. I started getting worked up and that’s when calming down was difficult.

It is hard to stay calm during these moments when the train starts rollin’ and the adrenaline is goin’, even when the tension is over something like trying to relax. According to Psychology Today, calm is both psychological and physiological. The dividing line will vary from person to person, but somewhere between the two, a new balance can be calibrated. Devoting attention to finding calm is essential. When the nervous system is released from the defensive mode, inner resources are able to be deployed to engage in repair, recovery, imagination, and exploration…all vital elements of well-being. Here are some suggestions:

Stay Calm When Everything Goes Wrong

Don’t jump to conclusions before you have all the information. In other words, do NOT panic prematurely.
Distinguish between a bump in the road and the end of the road. You might experience detours that are stressful in that moment of your journey towards your goals, but don’t let them prevent you from the long-term success.
Ask yourself what you need to learn, if anything. Sometimes there are takeaways from a bad experience, embrace these learning moments. Sometimes there isn’t…move along.
Consider a debrief. Venting endlessly about something that has gone wrong is unlikely going to help you, but a brief voicing of a complaint can sometimes be psychologically beneficial.

It might surprise you as well to find that out of the 190 most populated cities California has 4 in the top 10 according to this article of the most relaxed cities. You can find out how they measured that in the article. Frisco TX makes it on the list at #19.

Relaxing can be hard but staying calm can be practiced every day. What do you like to do to relax or refresh?