When bad things happen in my life, I tend to view them through the largest negative filter that I can find. When someone cuts me off in traffic, I become personally offended. When my boss gives me extra work with a short deadline, I believe that she doesn’t respect my time. When my teacher wants to set up a meeting with me, surely it is to tell me how poorly I am doing. You get the picture; I view situations negatively without considering any positivity.

Living with this frame of mind is burdensome to myself and those around me. It robs me of joy and instills in me a victim mentality. Research shows that thinking positively promotes a better quality of life, decreases depression, and enhances psychological and physical well-being.

Positive thinking does not ignore the need for realistic appraisal. Rather, it acknowledges both the negative and positive aspects of situations and then favors movement toward a positive focus. The answer to shifting our thought process is rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy. There is a tool that helps shift our negative thinking to positive thinking. It is called the “ABC Model”. The “A” is for activating event. This is any situation that you view negatively. The “B” is for beliefs. This is what you personally believe about the situation that you view negatively. The “C” is for consequence. This is how you behave as a response to the situation that you view negatively.

It sounds complicated but allow me to demonstrate. Feel free to plug in your own personal examples and thought processes.

1) Activating Event: My boss gave me extra work with a short deadline.

2) Beliefs: My boss does not respect my time. She does not appreciate everything that I already do.

3) Consequence: I have a bad attitude and talk poorly about my boss to my coworkers.

What if we reframed the activating event and allowed ourselves to consider different beliefs about the situation? It could look something like this. Again, feel free to plug in your own personal examples and thought processes.

1) Activating Event: My boss gave me extra work with a short deadline.

2) Beliefs: My boss considers me reliable and a hard worker. She asks me to do demanding work because she trusts that I can deliver quality work on time.

3) Consequence: I have a sense of pride in my work. I respect my boss for viewing me with a high regard. I am motivated to work with my boss and not against her.

By using the ABC Model, we shifted our negative thinking to positive thinking. When we take time to consider alternative beliefs about a situation, our reactive behavior changes for the better. This exercise may be difficult to do in a moment of overwhelming emotions, and that’s okay. You may need to let those emotions pass and then revisit the ABC Model. To begin, try using the ABC Model with small situations that you view negatively. Allow yourself to get comfortable with it and then try it with any situation, big or small.

If you find yourself struggling with this and feel that you need assistance, any of our licensed counselors at The Fountains Counseling Center are ready and willing to walk alongside you. We want you to have a better quality of life.

References:

Bekhet, A. K., & Zauszniewski, J. A. (2013). Measuring Use of Positive Thinking Skills: Psychometric Testing of a New Scale. Western Journal of Nursing Research, 35(8), 1074–1093. https://doi.org/10.1177/0193945913482191

Boyraz, G., & Lightsey, O. R., Jr. (2012). Can positive thinking help? Positive automatic thoughts as moderators of the stress–meaning relationship. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 82(2), 267–277. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1939-0025.2012.01150.x